First runner-up gets the tacky but estimable Style Invitational Loser
Pen. Other runners-up receive the coveted Style Invitational Loser
T-shirt. Honorable Mentions get the mildly sought-after Style
Invitational bumper sticker. Winners will be selected on the basis of
humor and originality. Mail your entries to the Style Invitational, Week
294, c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20071;
fax them to 202-334-4312; or submit them via Internet to this address:
losers@washpost.com. Internet users: Please indicate the week number in
the "subject" field. Also, please do not append "attachments," which
tend not to be read. Entries must be received on or before Monday, Nov.
9. Important: Please include your postal address and phone number.
Winners will be announced three weeks from today. Editors reserve the
right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase
necessary. Today's Promo No One Reads was written by Stephen Dudzik of
Silver Spring. Employees of The Washington Post and members of their
immediate families are not eligible for prizes.
in which we invited you to combine the first part of any hyphenated word
in that day's Post with the last part of any other hyphenated word in
the same story, and provide a definition for the hybrid.
Honorable Mentions:
Thingthatwillfind-tire - n., the only sharp object within five miles of your car.
(Ann Zeleny, Boonesboro)
Half-up?- adj., Following the milk industry's wildly successful "Got
Milk?" campaign, the makers of Viagra created their own slogan.
(T.J. Murphy, Arlington)
Birth-mummy - n., a woman who gives her baby up for Egyptian. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)
Rot-o'lantern - n., what is on your window sill two weeks after
Halloween. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington; Barbara Lewis, Berwyn Heights)
Sex-ington Post. n., Washington's premier newspaper, during the last year.
(Sue Lin Chong, Washington)
Anniversa-locity - n., the seemingly increasing rate at which yearly
celebrations pass. (Benjamin Eye, Washington; Jessica Steinhice Mathews,
Arlington)
Orga-man - n., Secret Service code for the president. (Stu Solomon, Springfield)
Bei-gious - adj., sort of tannish. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
Cyber-bases - n., the various stages of cybersex. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
De-ratchik - n., the Russian term for Minnie Mouse. (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
La-dress - n., you know, the one with la stain. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
Per-tify - n., to get someone all gussied up. (Edna Mae Cucumber, Moose Flop, Ala.; Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
Wom-ant - n., a small female who can carry twice her weight over long distances.
(Ann Zeleny, Boonesboro; Susan Reese, Arlington)
Tempo-skins - n., Norv Turner and Charley Casserly. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
Dishonor-ville - n., Bill's new postal address. (William Scott, Montclair)
Theo-mosexuality - n., Van Gogh really loved his brother. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
Confi-monically - adv., word used by Linda Tripp to assure her friends
that she'll never repeat anything they tell her. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
Rhythm-and-crab - n., a very, very effective birth control method. (David Genser, Arlington)
Psycho-Tex - n., H. Ross Perot. (Dave Zarrow, Herndon)
Ten-somethings - n., preteens.
(David Genser, Arlington)
Impeach-peached - n., In place of full impeachment, a method of
presidential censure in which the entire Congress will lob rotting fruit
at the president. (John Kammer, Herndon)
Prosecu-cutor - adj., a generally positive change in physical appearance
lawyers will undergo when their trials attract national coverage. (see,
Clark, Marcia.) (John Kammer, Herndon)
Position-monically - v., to kneel.
(Charlie Myers, Laurel)
Clin-gon - n., a creature with high intelligence but strange sexual practices. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
Diffi-cated - n., suffered from constipation. (Adrienne G. Hope, Gaithersburg; Hannelore Aronstein, Falls Church)
Grandpar-ing - n., the gradual loss of one's elderly relatives. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)
Ken-stitutional - adj., describing one's authority to investigate whatever, forever. (Ginny Carr and Robert McBride, Woodbridge)
Mary-o'lanterns - n., Jack's politically correct counterparts. (Benjamin Eye, Washington)
Lead-membering - n., a proposition, Clinton-style. (G. Smith, Falls Church)
Bo-bachev - n., a Russian clown.
(Fred Dawson, Beltsville)
Next Week: Paying The Bill